Saturday, March 28, 2020

Essentials for the Quarantine to Keep You Busy and Relaxed

It's been almost two weeks of social distancing and over a week of quarantine in New York City and I have to say, it's not getting any easier. I have been doing a lot of ordering from Amazon and other retailers to keep myself sane! I wanted to share some of my amazing finds with you that I think you NEED during this time.

The number one thing I think we can all use is some relaxation! I have tried a bunch of different CBD brands but this one I found to be the most effective, doesn't increase my anxiety, and doesn't make me super tired. It just makes the anxiety and stress more manageable. 

You can shop the CBD oil here: USE CODE"PRETTYNYC" FOR 20% OFF

Now I can't count how many times I've washed my hands. My skin has also been sooo dry all over from being stuck inside so I was on the hunt for the best hand and body cream and I found two winners from Amazon that are super inexpensive and WORK!
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You Can Shop The Body Lotion under $10 Here in Rose Scent and Lavendar Scent

You Can Shop The Hand Cream Here $10.95

Now how many of you have been bored to pieces?! Here are my top picks for games and books that have really kept me busy!

Super Attractor: Methods for Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams

My favorite motivational self help book at the moment and on sale for $12.99 HERE

My entire family from a 4 yr old to people in their late 60's are obsessed with this game! We call it break the chooch but I guess it's called The Mexican Train Game You Can Shop It HERE
Directions are inside and it's really easy to play! Beware you may encounter some yelling while playing!

Girl, Wash Your Face Audiobook by Rachel Hollis - 9781400201679 ...

Another book I'm really loving is Girl, Wash Your Face! You can Shop It Here $12.99

Now let's talk comfy cozies. We are all stuck inside so we might as well be comfortable. However, most of us are still with our significant others or just want to look cute while being home! I have rounded up my top comfy picks that are super budget friendly below!

These cozy slippers are on sale from Amazon Prime $15.99 HERE and come in 5 different colors


This cozy set is from WalMart and I could NOT believe it!! The set is on sale too for $9.99 HERE it was $25.99 and comes in 5 colors

And of course you should take care of your skin. Relax with the face mask that tackles brightening, exfoliating, anti aging, pore clearing, and hydrating HERE

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And is there a better time than to teach yourself how to do your own dip powder? You can do it at home for months at the same price as one visit to the salon! You just need this kit and a nail file and buffer. You can shop the set HERE

Always remember to open your packages outside and throw the cardboard away immediately. Make sure to wash your hands after! Stay safe and healthy! Sending my love to all of you! I hope this list helps you with any essentials you need.
Friday, November 15, 2019

5 Ways To Become A Happier Person - The Pursuit of Happiness

When you ask a new parent what they want their child to be when they get older, the answer is almost always, happy. It isn't for them to be an NFL player, a Doctor, or a Lawyer. But why is happiness so difficult to find nowadays? Researchers say there are many reasons and they include social media, or more so technology in general, too many choices, and comparison. I'll just more into those details later. I took a seminar on 'The Pursuit of Happiness' which taught the group ways to become a happier person. I found that the five that I will mention are probably the most important. So let's get happy!

#1 A Gratitude Journal - Eyeroll, right? Because how many times have we heard this one? However, besides it being proven to increase happiness and manifest positive experiences in life, I put it to the test and it worked! You don't need to sit down and spend 10 minutes a day writing day things that make you are grateful for. You need 3 things! That's the magic number here but you MUST be specific and it HAS to be something different everyday. For example, I am so grateful for my dogs because when I look at them they make me laugh and when I hold them they comfort me. After you write 3 very specific reasons you need to write 1 good thing that happened to you in the last 24 hours and be specific. For example, when I was walking out of Starbucks this morning while my hands full, a gentleman held the door open for me. At the end of the week go back and read what you wrote in your notebook. I guarantee you it will bring a smile to your face. Not only will you get to experience those feelings all over again but it will be a good reminder of all the positives in your life.

#2 Hand Deliver a Written Letter to Someone Close to You - Pick a person that is very special to you. It could be your mother, your teacher, or your best friend. Write them a letter and include all the reasons why you love them and are thankful for them and then HAND DELIVER it. Make sure to stick around and watch them read it as well. It will fill your heart with so much joy (and theirs too!) Many people record the person reading the letter out loud and rewatch it to bring even more happiness to them!

#3 Take a Day Off of Social Media - Social media gives our brains a shot of dopamine. Dopamine is a chemical that signals happiness in our brains and this becomes addicting. It's not the content that is giving you the dopamine its seeing something new every single time you scroll. Much like a dating website … you keep scrolling and you see new and fresh every single time. This actually in turn makes us depressed. Constantly seeing new outfits, fabulous vacations, and picture perfect relationships on social make us compare our not near perfect lives to these shots. Taking a day off every once in awhile from social media will give us a break of comparing ourselves to others. So go with your friends or family to a fun brunch, go on a hike, or read a book. Below I went with some family to Sugar Factory in NYC!

#4 Understand the Paradox of Choice - There is a book on this by Barry Schwartz. The premise of this concept is that our lives have become way more complex due to the overwhelming abundance of choice. What does this mean to me? The book gives an example of choosing a pair of jeans, a partner in life, or a career. Pick one and think about this, "Beware of choice overload: it can make you question the decisions you make before you even make them, it can set you up for unrealistically high expectations, and it can make you blame yourself for any and all failures" - Amazon This can cause a huge amount of anxiety and even depression. The book helps you limit the number of choices in have to make by using a strategic method. This can help reduce any future anxieties in the decision making process.

You can purchase this book by clicking here.

#5 Random Acts of Kindness - This one is my favorite. Did you know that this can actually benefit you almost as much or even more than the person you are helping? By doing something nice for someone and seeing that smile on their face, their gratitude, or their Thank You will give you such fulfillment. If you haven't seen my YouTube video of me doing a random act of kindness in NYC check it out below. 

Tuesday, October 29, 2019

The most toxic dating story of my life and if anything I hope it helps you in some way

They say a picture is worth a thousand words right? Over the years I have learned that to be true. When I look back at this photo from last fall it brings back very distinctive memories for me. The first was memory was who took the picture and how they affected my life. My boyfriend at the time was the one who took this photo. Up until now only 3 people know this story. For those of you that truly know me, you know I love to take care of people and make others happy, normally at my own expense. I have been called captain save a hoe more often than I’d like to admit. I had a bad habit of occasionally dating people who I thought I could help emotionally. It made me feel good to see them happy. I saw the person they were deep down but the pain they carried was much more than they could deal with. I have dated two people with these very similar characteristics. These types of people seek others with huge hearts so they can take advantage of them. Most would call them narcissists and manipulators, I have learned that they are usually addicts.

When you first start dating them you have no idea the deep issues that they are carrying with them. They make you feel so special, and so happy and loved. But once they hook you, it becomes their mission to sink you. Sink you in a way that you could never imagine. Looking back if I tried to sum up all the toxic traits I dealt with I don’t know how I made it through. I dealt with him hiding how much Adderall was being taken, the vodka in the Vitamin Water bottle, verbal abuse, lies, “friends” he had messaging him from his three phones. The weekends were the worst. I wondered what fight he was going to start on a Friday if I wanted to sleep at home, he always wanted me to stay at his house and it was an issue if I wanted to go home. If I went home he would block me all weekend, claim he was depressed and slept, but later found out he was partying with drugs and girls. You might be asking yourself, why the hell did she deal with all of this?! Well I felt bad, but the truth is I truly didn’t know what was going on behind my back until the day that I will never forget.

I got a phone call on a Monday morning at 5 am after not hearing from him all weekend, at this point I was already done with the relationship and the truck I had rented him under my name I tried having towed and picked up but he talked his way out of that with the tow company, because well, addicts have such a way with words. Anyway, he called me to tell me he thought he was overdosing, he could barely speak and said he was scared and didn’t want to die. I rushed over his apartment, had to climb through a window and found him in the bed with his eye rolled to the back of his head. I had to stick my fingers down his throat and catch his puke with a towel. I then put him in a cold shower and made him drink tons of water. Once I knew he was okay and he fell asleep I sat on the edge of the bed and cried. Cried because I didn’t want to be there, cried because I knew I didn’t deserve this, but most of all cried because I couldn’t help him and at that point didn’t want to anymore. It was at that moment my entire world almost ended. His phone began to ding over and over again. I read one text message that said, “why are you ignoring me, I thought you really cared about me.” 

I figured that weekend he was cheating which is why I was over the relationship but when I saw this I knew it wasn’t a onetime thing. I threw his phone at his leg on the bed and yelled I’m leaving, you’ve been cheating on me for who knows how long. He immediately jumped up out of bed and grabbed me by my neck. He then slammed me against the wall, took me and shoved me to the floor, picked me back up and through me against the wall again. The next thing I remember his knee was in my neck and he was slapping me across the face. His hands went around my neck and that’s when I knew I had to stay calm or I was going to hyperventilate and pass out. He kept repeating, “You have always had a problem going through guys phones don’t you,” like it was MY FAULT I caught him cheating, I just kept agreeing with what he was saying so that he didn’t kill me. I finally was able to get away from him and then he took one of my dogs threw her in the bathroom and took the other one by the neck against the wall. He told me if I didn’t come back with $7,000 (because he was getting evicted, was blaming me, and needed money to move) he was going to kill my dogs. Also if I called any friends or the cops he would kill them. I jumped over the railing and begged for him to give me my dogs and I was going to come back with the money and I meant it. I just wanted my babies. He finally gave them to me and I ran to my car. I was trying to catch my breath before I pulled out and he was at my window. He got in my car and told me he was going to go to the bank with me. He got in and I drove straight to my apartment building. I knew it was safe there because the nosey yentas for sure would call 911 if they heard anything. He questioned why we were driving there and I said I wanted to drop the dogs off.

Once we got to my apartment he poured a glass of vodka and immediately his demeanor changed. It was like the alcohol completely calmed him down. I’m not sure if it had hit him what he’d done or if he thought I was going to go to the cops but he broke down and said that he couldn’t live like this anymore and that he was ready to go to rehab. He couldn’t deal with the pain and the mood swings for another minute. I began calling every rehab facility to help him. I finally find a place for him to go to detox and I paid $2,500 for them to pick him up at his apartment and take him.

During detox his mom and I packed up his entire apartment and put it into her garage, mind you I could barely move my sore body from being thrown around and I couldn’t swallow for an entire week from the choking. After detox they gave him a scholarship for rehab. I was constantly bringing him clean clothes, paying for his medication and cigarettes. He stayed for two and a half weeks and then walked out. After two and a half weeks I got a phone call that he had been acting really weird and escaped. They told me to stay in my apartment and lock the doors, and if he comes near me to call the cops. He called me from a gas station and pleaded with me to pick him up, I told him I couldn’t because I was afraid of him and I was afraid of what he would do to me. He assured me he was okay and just couldn’t be there anymore. He asked me to take him straight to an AA meeting.

For the following two weeks after he left rehab he was perfect. He was happy, he was energetic, he was so sweet, he was attending two AA meetings a day, and he made sober friends. I went to AA meetings with him, I went to therapy, I went to doctors appointments, I was there for him. It wasn’t until day 32 and having his cell phone back he started a fight with me, packed up his stuff and left. I knew he was going to go drink and this time I wasn’t going to save him. The photos you will see below are of him sober.

I had dated an addict before but it was never this bad and the drinking wasn’t as consistent so I guess I didn’t learn any valuable lessons from that relationship but I learned so much from dealing with this situation. Don’t get me wrong I have dated some decent guys, some just plain jerks, and A LOT of egotistical assholes. I am attracted to dominant, successful men and unfortunately these characteristics are very prominent. I have walked away from a guy texting me something inappropriate, I have walked away from men not responding in a timely manner, I have walked away from someone who didn’t make me feel special, so why was I dealing with this? I was trying to make someone else happy instead of myself. All in all I have learned what to look for and what not to look for in men. I learned you cannot save anyone. I learned you cannot change anyone. I learned you cannot teach someone how to be loved or how to love. But most of all I learned you cannot make someone be a good person. You cannot expect someone to treat you the way you treat others.

If there is anything you take away from reading this I hope it is that if you are in a toxic situation there is nothing you can do to fix it, there is nothing you can do to fix that person or help them. Walk away. Please, walk away. Save yourself the heartache, the tears, the stress, the money, everything. If you feel like something isn't right, if you feel like they are lying, if you feel like you can't trust them, leave! Your toxic situation doesn’t have to be as bad as mine, or it could be worse. Toxic is anything less than a man being a man. If he doesn’t put you on a pedestal, if he doesn’t treat you like a Queen, if he doesn’t put you before himself and most of all if he doesn’t respect you, walk away! I promise you will find your prince charming. I can’t sit here and tell you I had a happy ending and I have my knight in shining armor. I have major trust issues and my anxiety has been at all all time high. I can’t tell you prince charming has come and swept me off my feet or that I had the most beautiful wedding and now we are all cuddled up by the fireplace with our sweet baby. However, I can promise you that I know it’s coming. How do I know? Because I will never settle with less than I deserve and neither should you.